Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
