Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
