Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
