You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm too high and old for this...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
