I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
