I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
