shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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