I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.