if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i've created a new STD.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.