My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial