I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize