so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up