Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
