everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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