Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
