I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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