no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
