whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
