Say something about gay babies.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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