Pappa wants mamma naked
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
