I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
