Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
