I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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