I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
