OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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