I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
