wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
