you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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