just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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