Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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