I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
