hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
