I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I would fuck him just for his dog
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
