brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
