he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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