What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
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