i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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