you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
