Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Actions speak louder than pants.
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Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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