Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
