I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
