I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
sarcasm needs its own font
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
