Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize