I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
