this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
