I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Dear god my vagina.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
