Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
