It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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