Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
