How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
