you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
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