From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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