Tell her she can't have a vagina
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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