i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
