You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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