it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
