My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The uberlube is also flammable
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
