he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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