dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
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This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
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He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.