sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My first STD was from a foam party
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die