Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.

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  (610): Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man. http://tfl.nu/0eqn
  Replies (9) Good night (2286) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  "romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits

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  (201): "romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits http://tfl.nu/qyqs
  Replies (54) Good night (4759) Bad night (494) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping

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  (401): and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping http://tfl.nu/w61z
  Replies (18) Good night (972) Bad night (4818) Order T-Shirt
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  (626): View more from California

  it was like eating out sand paper

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  (626): it was like eating out sand paper http://tfl.nu/u8qd
  Replies (32) Good night (470) Bad night (7676) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.

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  (509): Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico. http://tfl.nu/evuy
  Replies (13) Good night (5498) Bad night (979)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.

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  (970): Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier. http://tfl.nu/o9ed
  Replies (19) Good night (9100) Bad night (1276)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.

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  (416): I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny. (905): Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night. http://tfl.nu/j8pa
  Replies (13) Good night (4246) Bad night (843)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph

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  (732): all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time (1-732): swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph http://tfl.nu/tobf
  Replies (11) Good night (4633) Bad night (937)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.

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  (757): I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class. http://tfl.nu/buxk
  Replies (11) Good night (2368) Bad night (918) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up

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  (404): You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up http://tfl.nu/mf69
  Replies (4) Good night (849) Bad night (1569) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.

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  (916): He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head. http://tfl.nu/7dxe
  Replies (12) Good night (543) Bad night (4597) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.

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  (314): Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly. http://tfl.nu/f0vi
  Replies (10) Good night (2323) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"

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  (631): I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone" http://tfl.nu/bfbc
  Replies (5) Good night (2478) Bad night (397) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants

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  (615): those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants http://tfl.nu/jm8o
  Replies (13) Good night (484) Bad night (921) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.

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  (330): just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue. http://tfl.nu/y6r9
  Replies (4) Good night (462) Bad night (388) Order T-Shirt

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