i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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