Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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